satanicdemona:

darnhomosexuals:

why the fuck does kimberly get less coffee
get rid of jeffrey and keep his mug

This is the perfect visual metaphor for heterosexuality.

satanicdemona:

darnhomosexuals:

why the fuck does kimberly get less coffee

get rid of jeffrey and keep his mug

This is the perfect visual metaphor for heterosexuality.

sighdrogen:

moshita:

Anecdotes by medical practitioners 

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.

Reblogged from Universes in my Mind
captainhanni:

where’d THOSE come from

captainhanni:

where’d THOSE come from

Reblogged from Around since 1991
Tags: art
felis-serval:

Nikohlas  .  .  SpottedLuck

If I were a month, I’d be October
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday

If I were a planet, I’d be Jupiter
If I were an animal, I’d be a Serval

If I were a gemstone, I’d be a bicolored sunstone
If I were a flower, I’d be a dandelion
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be slightly overcast with moments of sunshine
If I were a color, I’d be pollen yellow and goldenrod
If I were an emotion, I’d be whispered longing
If I were a fruit, I’d be a cara cara
If I were an element, I’d be earth
If I were a place, I’d be a hollowed out baobab tree with sunlight pouring in
If I were a taste, I’d be iced almond coffee with cream 
If I were a scent, I’d be autumn leaves kicked up by the chill morning wind
If I were a song, I’d be steady, with a complex bass-line and words about broken pasts- and hopeful beginnings

felis-serval:

Nikohlas . . SpottedLuck

If I were a month, I’d be October
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday
If I were a planet, I’d be Jupiter
If I were an animal, I’d be a Serval

If I were a gemstone, I’d be a bicolored sunstone
If I were a flower, I’d be a dandelion
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be slightly overcast with moments of sunshine
If I were a color, I’d be pollen yellow and goldenrod
If I were an emotion, I’d be whispered longing
If I were a fruit, I’d be a cara cara
If I were an element, I’d be earth
If I were a place, I’d be a hollowed out baobab tree with sunlight pouring in
If I were a taste, I’d be iced almond coffee with cream
If I were a scent, I’d be autumn leaves kicked up by the chill morning wind
If I were a song, I’d be steady, with a complex bass-line and words about broken pasts- and hopeful beginnings

Reblogged from Leptailurus Serval

comedyaintpretty:

One of the best ending moments in a movie.

Warrick  .  .  [flashbackpractice]

If I were a month, I’d be late September

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Wednesday

If I were a planet, I’d be Neptune
If I were an animal, I’d be a Serval

If I were a gemstone, I’d be 
Aquamarine Beryl
If I were a flower, I’d be a Pacino Sunflower
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a warm, late summer day

If I were a color, I’d be deep sky blue with lighter flecks
If I were an emotion, I’d be slight anticipation
If I were a fruit, I’d be watermelon
If I were an element, I’d be cobalt  air
If I were a place, I’d be a golden field of tall grass with scattered trees
If I were a taste, I’d be African Honeybush tea with agave 
If I were a scent, I’d be the smell of country air on summer’s evening
If I were a song, I’d be calm and whimsical with piano and lyrics about starting anew

Warrick . . [flashbackpractice]

If I were a month, I’d be late September
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Wednesday
If I were a planet, I’d be Neptune
If I were an animal, I’d be a Serval

If I were a gemstone, I’d be 
Aquamarine Beryl
If I were a flower, I’d be a Pacino Sunflower
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a warm, late summer day
If I were a color, I’d be deep sky blue with lighter flecks
If I were an emotion, I’d be slight anticipation
If I were a fruit, I’d be watermelon
If I were an element, I’d be cobalt air
If I were a place, I’d be a golden field of tall grass with scattered trees
If I were a taste, I’d be African Honeybush tea with agave
If I were a scent, I’d be the smell of country air on summer’s evening
If I were a song, I’d be calm and whimsical with piano and lyrics about starting anew

Ah…Amaterasu. Origin of all that is good and mother to us all. The swirling whirlpool of evil below has driven me to this height. From this perch, I observe the world below and its descent. If my power is needed once again, I, Kabegami, god of walls, shall gladly offer a bridge of hope to the realm below!

Reblogged from Canuckin'